Honoring the Lives Lost in the War on Christmas

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In honor of the lives lost in the 2015 Battle for the Pole, let's look back on the tragedies and triumphs of the War on Christmas.

As cultural tensions between the North Pole and the United States were brewing, worries began to plague the American people of an imminent attack as threatened by Santa Claus. While the U.S. had vastly more powerful weaponry, the North Pole had a larger army of Elves.
The might and perseverance of America under President Barack Obama's leadership, along with the military's use of guerrilla warfare, led to a bloody victory, ending Christmas in the United States and securing the North Pole as a U.S. colony.

In early 2015, Obama's greenlighting of fighter jets above the Arctic caused a disturbance in the flight paths of Santa's sleigh and hundreds of reindeer, violating international law. Whispers circulated the country, echoing the sentiment that regime change was in the cards, causing a schism between the anti-Christmas liberals and the anti-war conservatives. However, Obama would successfully unite the country with the common goal of decimating its enemies, regardless of purpose and reason.

2016 saw many North Pole victories, while Elves began mobilizing and converting most of their toy factories into military equipment facilities. The efficiency and manpower were unmatched by the U.S. until Obama started harnessing the political correctness of its citizens, with drastic measures taken to remove all wreaths, candy canes, and other festive decorations and distractions.

In 2017, Operation Silent Night saw U.S. Marines parachute down into the North Pole while combatants back home became more proficient in using drones to strike down incoming candy cane missiles.

2018 was a significant turning point in the conflict, with the U.S. pushing well above its weight in its tactics and drone strikes while thousands of troops deployed at the Pole began to come down with frostbite. 2017 marked the deadliest period of the war for both sides.

In 2019, talks of a peace deal were growing under Santa's administration due to their weakened position. Obama's America, however, seized the opportunity to destroy Christmas entirely and prevent further cheer from regaining momentum within the Elf population.

February 2020 saw the rerelease of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" with a remastered mix, approved by Carey. The war was won, and Christmas was eliminated.